In January of 2004, I was hitting my professional stride as an academic researcher at a major research University. I worked with the top people in my field. Personally, I was on less solid ground: my eleven-year marriage was in disrepair. Waves of anger, fear, and helplessness would wash over me as I watched my husband gradually shut-down. After three years of trying conventional therapy, I came to the difficult decision of seeking a divorce. And yet there was a deeper pain, a more profound disconnect from almost everything in my life, a feeling of “is this all there is for me?” My journey to Brazil was a first step in healing my emotional trauma and uncovering layers of pain that stretched back not only to my childhood but also past lives.
My two week stay was filled with mystical and strange experiences that I could not explain given my rigorous scientific training. I saw technicolor visions with my eyes closed, felt energetic hands as I sat in meditation, gently bending my body, filling it with light and heat. These experiences were not confined to the Casa grounds. On the fourth night of my two-week stay, I felt a presence in my room as I lay in bed. It felt as if two hands gripped my ankles and pressed down hard. I could feel searing heat and pressure rise up into my body, and when it reached my knees, millions of charged needles fired. The pain was overwhelming, but with that thought it lessened. Yet with each breath the hands continued to move up my body, pushing me against the bed. As I looked down at my chest, I could see my body rise up with each movement. I saw bursts of bright light and felt as if someone was realigning my entire spine. Then I felt a hand inside of my mouth, pressing up as waves of electricity pulsed through my teeth, gums, and jaw. By this point it was impossible to deny the presence of spiritual beings who were leading me deeper into authentic healing. I surrendered that evening and came to understand the truth behind the phrase: healing is a process that unfolds in Divine Right Timing.
I felt I had walked through a portal and had a different perspective on my life.
The daughter of immigrant parents, I grew up in a home that was filled with pain and fearfulness. Yet my own direct experiences were so different—I found life to be filled with joy and love, and I embraced it fully. I had passion and a desire to alleviate the world of all suffering. But when my thoughts turned to my marriage, a sorrow weighed upon my heart and soul. I felt lost and ineffective, unable to bridge the chasm that had ripped me away from my husband. Beneath that sorrow was anger, an emotion I preferred to ignore. As these emotions swept over me, I remember asking for help in releasing them, without knowing what that meant or if it were possible.
Tears of gratitude streamed down my face as I was ushered into a cab and driven to a nearby town and eventually found a passport photo shop in a small mall. I returned to my hotel room that evening, photos in hand, tired and unsure of what awaited me the next morning.
There I was, again standing in line to see the Entity, clutching my photographs and filled with hope. I approached the Entity and he took the photographs from me. “Are these your photographs?” he asked. “Yes, Father,” I replied. A smile. “Are they recent?” “Yes.” Another smile. “Now I will give you what I promised.” At which point I felt a rush of energy into my right hand and was told, “Your faith is strong and has healed you.” I was then quickly ushered off the line and instructed to go and “sit in the current room.” It was as simple as that and as complex as that. My mind would not stop racing, probing, asking the question, “How will this heal me?” I didn’t know the answer but I knew, in my heart, healing would come. It would all unfold. I owned that certainty- there was no doubt, I could feel it deep within my soul.
The next morning I stood in line, my husband’s name on a slip of paper, along with his date of birth. I approached the Entity and he gently took the piece of paper from my hand and held it. He looked into my eyes with love and compassion, and said, “He is a good man.” I felt as if this loving and compassion spirit being, was inside my head, reading my thoughts and I smiled. The Entity repeated, “He is a good man,” to which I replied, “I know Father, but I can no longer live with him.” He took my right hand and began speaking very quickly in Portuguese as a Casa guide translated. I was told you have free will, and you don’t have to take the Entity’s advice. Yet I was so grateful for the healing I already received, and would do anything to relieve the pain in my heart. I remember feeling confused and impatient, waiting to hear ‘this advice’. And again, it made no sense. “Get three photos of yourself and be here tomorrow. If you do this, I shall give you much happiness in your home.”
On the last day of that trip, while standing in line to say farewell to the Entity, I was told I was a healing medium, and the Casa would be my spiritual home. I could come back as often as I liked, and continue to deepen my mediumship. I was not sure what being a medium entailed and, quite frankly, the very word conjured images of crystal balls and séances. And yet, from what I could surmise, the mediums were faithful, thoughtful men and women who opened themselves to the Divine just by sitting quietly, offering prayers, or directing their consciousness for the benefit of everyone. My own knowledge about wellbeing was based upon the premise of alleviating suffering. The medium I felt most comfortable with was education, a concrete scientific approach. I thought perhaps it would take time- a lot of time- to integrate all I experienced. Quite frankly, this made little sense, because life as I had known it no longer existed.
Things seemed very different when I got home. I was different. I tried my best to convey what had happened to me at the Casa, but it was difficult because I was not sure what happened. My anger, fear, and sorrow had been replaced with a spacious openness. I felt at ease with all of my emotions and I felt ready to take an honest look at the way in which I conducted my life, with an eye toward releasing what no longer suited me. Now my days had a different flavor. I often experienced visions throughout my days. I could sense energies, see beautiful auras around others and I found I could sense energies, move into their energy fields and see what was going on within- emotionally and physically. I sensed energies and heard thoughts and ideas that were not my own. And I would often feel a familiar energetic sensation of loving and compassionate guides around me. As these experiences grew stronger, I realized I needed help to navigate this new world. I immersed myself in shamanic training for the next two years, spending countless hours learning about the gift of mediumship and the responsibility that comes with serving others. To learn more about specific healing services, please click here.